All In My Head
by SweetyBird282
Summary: James is set on a mission to write a song, but his inspiration seemes to be lacking. Will he be able to finnish the song and make a hit? How will he gain the inspiration? Sort of song-fic based on All In My Head by Nick Lachey
1. Chapter 1

**I've been listening to the song All In My Head by Nick Lachey a lot today, and this story just popped into my head :)**

**Diclaimer: I do not own James Maslow/James Diamond (that would be werird), nor do I own the song used in this or any references to Big Time Rush. **

**Wow, that sounde official :P**

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

I sat in on the bright orange couch in the empty apartment. Kendall, Carlos, Logan and Katie were out by the pool, tanning or something. Honestly, I didn't really care just what they were doing. Why does James Diamond sit inside on a sunny day you ask. Well, Gustavo and I had a bet, sort of, that I couldn't possibly write a hit all by myself. I loved a good challenge, and would _always _defend my honor. I'm James freaking Diamond. It's just who I am. So that was how I ended up sitting in the deserted apartment on a sunny day, stringing a few random chords on my guitar and scrambling down and crossing out again lots of different sucky lines.

After several hours of trying to write a proper song, I was so frustrated over not getting anywhere that I was about to pull my hair out. Of course I wouldn't _actually _do that, I loved my hair way too much to do so, but I almost wanted to. After another hour, I had a partial melody down, but still no decent lyrics. I finally put the guitar down beside the couch and call it a day when the others got back from their visit to the pool.

"You're still working on that song?" Kendall asked surprised.

"Yup. But in my defense, writing a song with actually good lyrics and melody is a lot harder than it seems."

From behind the three other guys of Big Time Rush, I could hear Katie gasp dramatically.

"What has happened with the world? James Diamond puts an effort into something besides his looks," she said. There was a slightly mocking note to her voice, but I couldn't help but to get a little hurt. Katie had steeped out between Logan and Kendall.

Dammit, why did she have to walk around in there wearing just her way too flattering bikini and pull over skirt - which didn't really cover up much more than the bikini did, as it was so thin one could still barley make out the color of her bikini. Where was the over protective big brother when you needed him. Huh, Kendall?

Not wanting her to catch me looking, much less enjoying the sight of her, I walked off to my room with the excuse that I needed to put my guitar back in my room.

As the night came upon us and I went to bed, I used a long time falling asleep. Thoughts of Katie were filling up every inch of my brain, making it impossible for me to really rest. One way or another, though, I must have fallen asleep as I woke up. I was happier than ever before as I opened my eyes. The image of Katie wearing one of the gorgeous dresses she had tucked away in her closet flashed in my mind. She wore a strapless red silk chiffon dress witch reached her to just above her knees. She was at a beach with me, laughing as the wind gently played with her long brown hair. Pure happiness filled her deep brown eyes as she looked into mine and reached out for my hand, which bore a simple silver ring, identical to the one she was wearing. She then leaned in and kissed me.

My hand came up to my lips at the memory and my smile faded away. The ring wasn't there anymore. The Katie in my memory wasn't the real one, lying in her bed, most likely sleeping somewhere not too far away from me.

Usually the thought of her being merely a few feet away from me was enough to cheer me up, but today it only brought me down. For the first time in years, I felt like crying, as I wondered to myself how I had fallen so badly for the girl I used to see as a sister. How was it that I ended up falling in love with my best friend's sister? Katie Knight was the one and only girl who had gotten me to fully understand all the love songs. She was the one who opened my eyes to the world of romance, even though she might not know that. It was sad really; I was 23 before I really liked anyone. Before I could really understand the meaning of love songs, before I understood love.

Katie was also the only girl I had ever been interested in who didn't care for me in that way.

Suddenly, line after line, lyrics for my song formed in my mind. I quietly got out my notebook and guitar, making sure not to wake Kendall who was still sound asleep in the bed next to me. After 7 years we still shared a room.

After we had all turned 20, except Katie of course, we had finally been allowed to take over the apartment, so now it officially belonged to BTR. Katie, having been 15 at the moment, and already a big name within the managing industry, had convinced Mama Knight to let her stay with us so that she too could follow her dream and stay with her friends. Mama Knight had eventually given Kendall custody over Katie, with a strict message of the house rules for her precious daughter.

I pulled out of my thoughts as I sat down on the couch and gently started playing each chord of my newly formed song.

"_Satellites blasting through the universe  
>It's outta sight<br>It's all in my head  
>Saw your eyes sending me a message for the last time<em>," I sung softly and wrote each word down and added the chords.

"_Here alone  
>Holding on to something that I've never known<br>It's all in my head  
>I've crossed the line<br>Theres no going back and theres no future_

_Tell me this isnt happening_  
><em>She said she said<em>  
><em>Said she wants to marry me<em>  
><em>It's all in my head<em>  
><em>Thats just not reality<em>  
><em>It's over its over<em>  
><em>Cause she said its all in my head<em>  
><em>It's all in my head<em>"

At this point there was no stopping the flow of words. For the first time in my life, it was as if my heart had grown a pair of lips, and decided to use them for what they were worth. For the first time ever, my heart spoke up. All alone._  
><em>  
>"<em>Here on earth<br>She don't even wanna talk there  
>Are no words it's outta my hands<br>So why, why why_

_Tell me this isn't happening_  
><em>She said she said<em>  
><em>Said she want to marry me<em>  
><em>It all in my head<em>  
><em>Thats just not reality<em>  
><em>It over it's over<em>  
><em>She said it's all in my head<em>  
><em>It's all in my head<em>"

I couldn't help but to sing out on full power, hopefully not waking anyone.

"_Someone wake me up when calls me  
>It's like I've been asleep and she's gone<br>Someone let her know  
>I'm not breathing<br>Tell me this isnt happening  
>Tell me this isnt happening<em>

_Yeah yeah_  
><em>It's all in my head<em>  
><em>ooohh over<em>  
><em>And she said it's all in my<em>

_She said it's all in my head_  
><em>Every word that she said<em>  
><em>yeah<em>  
><em>oohh<em>  
><em>She said it's all in my head<em>  
><em>She wants to marry me<em>  
><em>Guess it's not reality<em>  
><em>ohhh ohhhh ohhhh<em>  
><em>She said its all my…<em>"

"_All in your head_," a soft voice whispered in my head.

"_All in my head, all in my head_…" I repeated that line way more than I cared to count. I finally put down the guitar and scrambled down the rest of my song. I shrugged as I realized I had actually heard Katie's voice whispering in my mind. I was going insane with the bottled up love for her. Really.

I sighed and almost felt like crying again. I could never have her. There was just so much in the way for it to ever happen. Most importantly of course, Katie was not interested in me. Conveniently enough, she was the single girl I had met so far who didn't fall for my charms. I think the universe had something against me.

I pondered on what I possibly could have done that was so horribly wrong for the universe to make the one person who made up my entire world not even glance my way. I got into bed again, but this time sleep refused to pay me a visit.

I hadn't gotten one more minute of sleep when Kendall's alarm clock finally went off.

I didn't say anything, or make much noise as I walked over to my closet and got out some fresh clothes and was dressed and out of the room before Kendall even managed to swing his legs over the edge of his bed. I was the first one up for a change. I decided to start making breakfast, as everybody else would be up soon enough either way.

"Mmm, smells good," I heard somebody murmur getting closer to the living room.

"Woah," Logan said stunned, pulling a t-shirt over his head, "there must be something seriously wrong with my eyes." He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times for emphasis.

"Ha ha, very funny, Logie," I said sarcastically. Suddenly a look of concern apparent on his face.

"What's up? There must be something seriously wrong, your hair's all messy," he noted.

"It is?"

Wow. I was really out of it, I hadn't even noticed. I hadn't taken a shower that morning either, not that it was a big problem, as I had showered not that long before I went to bed. Logan said almost the same thing I had been thinking.

"It's nothing, really," I lied. Logan knew me well enough to see that clearly, but he didn't push the subject. One of the many things that made him a great friend.

"Okay, if you say so. But you know I'm here if you need anything, right?"

Under normal circumstances, I would have teased him about sounding like a girl saying that, but today I just appreciated the concern.

"Thanks man," I said and focused my attention back to the breakfast I was making, " I finished the song though. I thought I was gonna head to the studio after breakfast."

"That's great," Logan said cheerfully.

"What's great?" a sleepy Carlos asked confused.

"James finished the song," Logan said.

"Oooh, is it good? When can we hear it? Are we gonna use it on our next album?" Carlos asked excited like a child on Christmas Eve. I laughed to myself.

"Carlos, Gustavo's the one who decides which songs we use," Logan reminded him.

"But is it good? And when can we hear it?"

"I like to think it's a good song, and you'll be able to hear it if you wanna tag along to the studio after breakfast."

"What's happening after breakfast?" Kendall asked curiosly, finally joining us too.

"James is showing his new song to Gustavo," Carlos exclaimed cheerfully.

"So you finally finished, eh?" Kendall asked with a sleepy smile on his face. Before I got a chance to answer, Katie finally joined the rest of the group.

"Woah, what is happening with the world? First James makes an effort, and then he starts making breakfast and doesn't brush his hair manically. Did mirror and lucky run away to Vegas and got married or something?"

"Long story," I murmured.

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><p>After breakfast we all headed off to the studio, Katie included.<p>

"What are you dogs doing here?" Gustavo asked, so surprised he forgot to yell at us.

"I finished the song," I said smiling at the big man.

"Oh yeah? I bet it's not even good!"

"Hey, I actually worked hard on it! It is good!"

Gustavo was just about to say something back, when Kelly interrupted him and told us to get to the studio so I could record the song.

I got out one of the guitars that belonged to the studio and started playing the song. As the chorus came up, I quickly glanced at Katie a few times, and sang out the passion I had written the song with. As the song ended the only reaction I got was gaping mouths. Kelly and Katie were the first ones to shake out of it, clapping wildly. The boys woke up as well and joined the girls.

"Wow, James, that was amazing. It has so much passion and feelings. I really didn't think you had it in you," Kelly said amazed.

"Me neither. I have never seen this deep side of yours," Katie added. For a second there, I almost felt as if I might just have a chance with her.

"I can't believe I didn't see how madly in love you are," Kendall said.

"I can't believe you haven't gotten the girl already," Logan said.

"Who's the song about?" Carlos asked. A chill ran down my spine. That was the one question I had feared.

"No one," I lied.

"Oh come on, I think everybody in this room could with a hand on their heart say that is not true," Kelly said.

"We're not stupid, you know," Logan said. Of course he was the one to defend their intelligence.

"What's the point anyways? She doesn't want me. She doesn't like me like that…"

I couldn't say anything else or I would bring myself to tears. The mini crowd gaped again.

"Woah, you've got it bad, bro," Carlos noted.

"Don't I know it," I murmured.

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><p><strong>Does this suck as much as I feel like it did? Too rushed?<strong>

**And one more thing, should I continue this story? I don't feel like it's _quite _done just yet. Whaddaya think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I decided to make this more than a one shot, so here's the next chapter :) Sorry it's kinda short, but I'll be posting a new one soon. I hope.**

**Anyways, enjoy and please feel free to let me know what you think :)**

**And just so you know, there's gonna be some sexual references later on.**

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

Later that night, as everybody else had gone to sleep, Katie crept into my room. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of her, and a question popped into my head.

"Katie, what are you doing here?" I asked confused.

"Who's that song about?"

"What song?" I asked, pretending not to know what she was talking about and turned back to my closet to fish out a shirt to wear to bed. But mostly to hide the light blush that was currently creeping onto my cheeks.

"You know what I'm talking about," Katie replied flatly. I did. I really did, but how was I supposed to her.

"Why do you even care?" I asked. It came out much harsher than I had intended for it to do.

"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way," I added as I saw the expression on Katie's face. God, she was so beautiful and kind, and simply perfect that I just couldn't stand to see her hurt, especially not by me.

"Who is it about?" Katie tried again.

"Why the sudden interest? You jealous?" I teased, not really believing it myself and turned around to face her. I had put on my shirt by now, so I couldn't really keep standing there, staring into the deeps of my closet any longer. As much as I wanted to, that would just be too obvious of an evasion.

"Yeah, you wish," she replied sarcastically.

_Yes. Yes, I do, you just don't know it._

"No but, seriously, it's just a super sweet song. Kinda. And I just think that who ever it is about should get to know this side of you. And I'm curious," she explained.

Sometimes I had troubles remembering that she was just 18. Sometimes she was more mature than any of the boys.

I stayed silent. I didn't want to tell her, but I couldn't bring myself to lie either, so I just stayed silent.

"Jaaaaaaames," she groaned, sending a tingly feeling all through my body.

Hearing her voice speaking my name was one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. It was only my name, but somehow, she made it sounds oh so special. And her stretching it out like that… Ahhh. The things she could do to me with just a word or a look.

_Man, you've got it bad_, I thought to myself.

I didn't reply this time either. I think almost a minute passed before any of us spoke again.

"James," she breathed, giving me the same effect again, "please, can't you just tell me?"

"No, I don't wanna talk about it," I told her and went to the bathroom I had in my room and started brushing my teeth.

I had one of the few bedrooms in the apartment with a private bathroom. A good idea though, or else the other guys might have had some trouble in the mornings. I probably used more time in there in the morning than the three others did together. Katie and I were the only ones with a private bathroom. Having Mama Knight out of the apartment, we all had our own room now. Not that we really minded having Jennifer Knight in the apartment, but it was nice to have the privacy of your own room.

"Pleeeeeeease?" Katie begged as I spat out a mouthful of toothpaste foam.

"No, I'm not telling you," I told her, looking at the reflection of her behind me in the mirror. I don't know how much of it she actually understood though, because I was still brushing my teeth, which seriously handicapped my ability to speak like a normal person.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

I spat out once again, and looked at directly at the real life version of her.

"No," I told her once again.

"But why not?" she complained.

"I told you, I don't wanna talk about it."

"Is it a guy? Is that it?"

I nearly choked on the little toothpaste I had in my mouth. I bended over the sink and spat it out.

"NO! Absolutely not! I mean, not that there's anything wrong with guys liking guys, but I'm not gay! Did you even listen to the lyrics? Cause I could have sworn I clearly said "she" several times," I told her, not really realizing that I had slowly moved closer to her all the while I spoke.

"Why are you so damn curious anyway?" I asked and a memory flashed in my mind. The memory of her tricking me into signing a contract that said she didn't nor have ever had a crush on me. An evil grin appeared on my face.

"Do you have a crush on me?" I asked teasingly and gasped for emphasis.

"No. I told you, I'm curious, and it's a sweet song and who ever the girl it was written for is, she deserves to know. Please Jamie, can't you just tell me?" There was a pleading look on her face. I turned my eyes away from her, because honestly, looking at her like that would break me down and make me spill.

I was pretty sure she knew that very well, but I just couldn't risk that. I couldn't possibly stand the humiliation of her letting me down. James Diamond doesn't get dumped. Well, Jennifer did once. But other than that, no one dumped James Diamond! No one.

"No!" I told her strictly and started moving towards my bed, "now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go to bed, and I suggest you do the same."

She started walking away and I lay down in my bed. I heard the door of my room open, then shut close. I wiggled myself into a comfortable position and waited for sleep to embrace me, but it didn't come. I opened my eyes and had to fight back the urge to scream.

"Katie, what are you still doing here?" Now I was starting to get angry.

"I was hoping you would spill it in your sleep," she said innocently and moved closer to my bed.

I gulped. Uh oh. This couldn't be good. My defenses got weaker the more tired I got. All of them. And right then I could feel a growing urge to pull her into my king sized bed and kiss her until the night was over, to make her moan out my name in pleasure. But I couldn't do that. I wouldn't let myself get that weak. Right?

"Katie, go to your own room," I told her, not able to take my eyes off of her as she got just a little closer to me.

"Not until you spill," she said, smiling with a look in her eyes I couldn't quite figure out the meaning of, but something about her reeked of an idea.

"Pleeeeeeeeease?" she asked for the thousandth time that night.

"NO! Now leave me alone!"

I was getting desperate. She was getting too close. I was on the verge of pulling her close to me and kiss her like there's no tomorrow. She moved closer to me and was almost in my bed, before I did something I would have never thought I would do. Ever.

"KENDALL!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, earning me a confused look from Katie.

"I thought you said it wasn't a guy?"

I ignored her and called out for her brother again.

"WHAT?" an annoyed Kendall Knight asked from my doorway, obviously having been woken up.

"KATIE, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he shouted, obviously seeing the way Katie was about to climb into my bed.

"She just doesn't want to leave me alone!" I cried. Katie looked back and fourth between her brother and me, completely dumb folded. Something that only happened to Katie Knight once or twice before.

"Leave that freaking idiot alone," Kendall mumbled annoyed at his sister and practically dragged her out of my room. Right then I didn't even care that Kendall had called me an idiot, I was just that happy to have her out of my room.

I know it doesn't make much sense that I didn't want the girl I loved in my room at night. All alone. In my bed…

My thoughts drifted away to places it really shouldn't be, and I quickly shook out of them. I managed to keep them away for a whole of ten minutes before they crept back into my mind. Gah, this is what she does to me! She can seriously fry my brain with just a touch, a look, or even a simple word. The power she held over me freaked me out, to be honest.

Finally, the thoughts of her became too much for my body to bear. I had to let it out. I did what I always did in desperate times like this. And well, I don't really need to tell you what that is, do I?

I bucked my head backwards in pleasure, and bit my lip in order to let a moan escape my lips. I couldn't help but imagine that it was her hand touching me. Her hands making me feel like this. Her lying beside me, or better yet, on top of me, whispering she loves me. But there was no one there. It was all in my head.

I could feel a little sweat escaping my body and I finally finished, leaning back against my pillows completely.

Not long after, sleep eventually graced me with its presence and I was lead into a series of beautiful dreams about no other than Katie.

My mind didn't seem to consist of anything but her lately. I couldn't even remember the last time I didn't dream about her anymore. Every time I closed my eyes, she was the one and only thing I would see. No one but my dear baby girl.

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><p><strong>Ooooh. Katie is really curious, I wonder why... <strong>

**Sorry that it's kinda rushed towards the end, but as I said; a new chapter's coming up soon which hopefully will make up for it :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry that it took a little more time than I had intended to, I've just been super busy this week :/**

**Including yesterday which my mom and I used to visit my grandpa's grave. It's the 8 year anniversary of his death today :( **

**Anyways, I'm starting to get a little sick of the BTR fanfiction writing at the moment so the next chapter might be a little while away :/**

**Buuuuut, as always, enjoy :)**

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><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

The next day I was woken up from a not so pleasant dream. I hadn't woken up from anything in particular, or maybe the dream its self, but that didn't stop my mood from being gloomy. I quickly got dressed and walked out of my room and down to the kitchen, only to find Katie there. I didn't really want to face her at the moment, I was even about to turn and walk back into my room but then she turned and messed up my plan. Katie flashed me a smile.

"Good morning. Now who is it?"

I groaned loudly. "Not telling you."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

I sighed. "Katie, I thought I told you this, I do not wish to talk about it."

This time she gave me a sad look. One of those looks I couldn't stand seeing her wear. "Why not? We used to tell each other everything. What happened to that?"

I sighed again. "I don't know. I guess things just happened," I said.

"That's a horrible explanation," she said and put some breakfast on to two plates and handed me one. The food looked really good and tasted even better.

"Mmm, this is really good," I said. She smiled a bright smile.

"I know I've said this a million times already, but this girl deserves to know. I mean, I didn't even know this side of you excited. The kinda insecure and madly in love guy. Honestly, it's kinda hot," she said.

_Noted_, I thought and smiled to myself. That was information that could definitely come in handy.

"This girl seems to be bringing out the better side of you. Keep that in mind," she said and headed off to her room while I finished my food and started plotting ways to show Katie how much I really cared about her. How I would do anything to make her happy.

Only problem was how to do that and make it special.

I was lost in thoughts as I headed back to my room to get dressed and fix myself. Meaning taking a shower and styling my hair in my usual flawless way. Suddenly, while I combed my hair into place, an ide popped into my mind. I could show her that I pay attention to all the small things she says and does.

I knew I had a bit of a reputation as a player. I could see why, I really could, but the truth was I only really went out with all the other girls in a last desperate attempt to get rid of my feelings for Katie.

It wasn't like I _wanted _to be in love with one of my best friend's little sister, who just happened to be five years younger than me as well. She was supposed to be like a sister to me too, and for a while she had been. I don't know when or how that changed, though.

Regardless, I couldn't help the feelings I had for the gorgeous, talented and incredibly smart brunette. Quite honestly, Katie was probably way smarter than me, which almost made me a bit intimidated, yet somehow made her that much more interesting.

The girls I had previously dated had been pretty much the complete opposite of Katie. Blonde, just skin and bones with brains the size of a walnut. I'm not saying all blondes are stupid, take Jo for example, she really wasn't stupid, but the girls I had gone out with where.

At first I liked the difference from Katie, how we could spend a long time talking about hair products and fashion. But after a few months of it, there was nothing that bored me more. I soon couldn't stand it when that was as deep as the conversations got, only leading me to spend entire dates just thinking about Katie. I would zone out, and eventually I just gave up the whole dating thing. That was only about eight months ago, when I realized there was absolutely no getting over Katie. My relationships would go nowhere unless it was with Katie, or if I by some miracle would get over her. So I figured my best shot was with the first one.

Except she didn't like me in that way.

If Katie had been any other girl, I would have used my patented Diamond charm on her, but she wasn't any other girl. She was Katie. She was special. The most special person in the whole wide world.

Small things about Katie would pop into my mind, like her favorite ice cream flavor, the name of that lip-gloss she loved and had just run out of. How she loved music and had been dying to get a few new albums, like John Mayer's Battle studies, Jason Mraz's latest album. I remembered overhearing her talking to her best friend, Kenzie, about the most romantic things a guy could ever do for her. One of them being that he wrote a heart felt love song about her, expressing his love. She had also described her dream-guy to Kenzie, which had made my heart sink as I thought I was nothing like that. Only in the past few weeks I had discovered a new side to myself.

Sighing, not really complete with a plan, I got out my guitar and started playing. This time I didn't use nearly as much time on a song as I did with All In My Head. Once again I poured out my heart and got two new songs down, plus three not so great partials. A knock on my door pulled me out of the dreamy, spaced off state I got in when I thought about Katie like this.

"James," Kendall's voice sounded through the door, "you can't just lock yourself in your room."

"The door's open, Kendall," I interrupted.

"Whatever," he said and entered my room. "My point is," he said and sat down on my bad with me, "you just need to get out there, dude. You're James freaking Diamond. There's a bunch of girls out there who would kill to go on a date with you."

"I know, but…"

"But what?" Kendall asked curiously, shortly after a look of realization flashed across his eyes. "You're not really into girls, are you?"

"What? Yeah, I am. Why does everyone think that I'm gay?"

Kendall looked embarrassed. "Sorry, it's just... You're kinda freakishly obsessed with hair and beauty products and fashion…" Kendall didn't need to say more for me to know what he meant. I was obsessed with my looks, therefore I must be gay. That's what they seemed to think at least.

"Look, I'm really not gay, okay?"

"Then why aren't you with her already?"

"Cause I have no idea how to approach this girl," I almost shouted frustrated at my best friend, earning me a completely shocked look from Kendall. Complete with a gaping mouth. It looked like his eyes where about to pop out of his head, I had never in my entire life seen him this shocked, and it was a fucking hilarious sight.

"Whaaaa?" was all the dirty-blonde haired boy managed to say. "Y-you, of all people, _you _don't know how to approach her?"

I blushed lightly at that comment and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "Yeah, it happens, okay? I have no clue what to do."

"Why don't you just do what you always do?"

" Because I've never used the Diamond charm," usually this would have been one of my 'The Face' moments, but I didn't make the gesture, I just continued talking "on somebody who wasn't a random hot girl or had a brain the size of a walnut. It just wouldn't be enough for this girl. She deserves so much more."

"Woah, woah, wait. So you're saying this girl is nothing like the girls you usually date," he said with a shrug, apparently as disgusted with the thought of my exes as I was, "and not a random girl? You wrote an amazing, truly heart-felt song for her all alone, she apparently has you loosing sleep and she's bringing out the deep side of you?"

I simply nodded in reply.

"Wow," he breathed impressed, "this must be one heck of a girl."

I smiled bleakly at Kendall. "Oh she is."

There was a short silence filling the room.

"How come you never talked about her before?"

_Maybe because you're her brother and I didn't use to want people to know?_

"I don't know." I couldn't think up even a half decent excuse.

"You gotta know why. You always talk non-stop about the girls you like."

"Maybe there is a reason," I murmured. I really didn't think he would hear me, but evidentially he did.

"Like what?" he asked curiously, "Why didn't you ever talk about her before?"

I had no idea what to tell him. I mean, how could I possibly tell my best friend since birth that I was in love with his 5-year younger sister?

Luckily I didn't have to answer him as Carlos suddenly shouted there was a girl here to see me. Kendall looked intrigued as I eagerly stormed off to the front door to greet the girl I had no idea who would be. My smile quickly faded as I realized it was one of my relatively brainless exes Looking over at Kendall I figured he was pretty disappointed too. He had obviously wanted it to be the girl I love.

"Melissa," I muttered, absolutely not pleased. She didn't seem to notice though, and threw herself at me, bombarding me with kisses. I struggled to get her off of me, but finally managed to get her away from me. At least off my lips, which was good enough for me. The other clinginess I could deal with. She took a step back and pouted.

"What's wrong, Jamie-bear?"

The nickname really pissed me off. I had never liked that name, not really even when Katie said it, and definitely not coming from Melissa.

"Don't call me that," I breathed, stopping in between every word. "And you know what's wrong."

She gave me a confused look, but didn't reply.

"We broke up!" I shouted, spreading my hands looking at her like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which honestly was exactly what it was, "actually to be precise, I broke up with you." I was about to continue my monologue, when she interrupted me.

"You never really told me why," she said, now on the verge of tears. My expression softened a bit, as did my entire attitude, and I remembered that even though I might not like her at all in that way – she was the kind of girl I could easily sleep with, nut other than that I wouldn't have anything to do with her – she might like me that way, and I shouldn't act like an ass towards her.

"I'm sorry, Melissa, but I just don't like you that way," I told her softly. Her face dropped.

"Wha-what? But I'm pretty. I have a nice body. And most importantly, I'm good in bed!"

I sighed and gently, just barley shook my head.

"It's not that you aren't. You're all of that, but looks and performance in bed isn't what's important. Sorry, Melissa, but you're just not what I want from a girl," I told her and now Carlos, Kendall and Melissa were all gaping at me completely shocked.

Yeah, they had _not_ expected to _ever _hear those words leave my mouth.

"You've changed," she noted, her flirty, clingy and over confident self completely vanished and replaced with a more quiet, almost more mature and responsible seeming Melissa.

"I haven't really changed that much, I just learned to go after what I want and for me to get that I just need to be the better version of me. I've always been like this somewhere underneath," I said.

They all still looked at me with wonder. Maybe I had changed a little. Or a lot. But I was telling the truth. It might not make that much sense, but then again love and life doesn't always make sense.

"So basically what you're saying is, you only dated me to get over this girl, or guy? You just used me?"

I had to admit, she was much cleverer than I had given her credit for. I had never seen this side of her though. Apparently I wasn't the only one who had changed.

"I guess I did," I admitted ashamed of myself. Melissa's face was edged with a look of pure disgust and hatred.

"Well," she spat viciously, "I hope you and your little friend will have a happy life." The words alone were sweet, but spoken with so much hatred that it ended up as far away from sweet as you could possibly get. I ignored the heavy sarcasm, though and smiled brightly.

"Thanks, I intend to do so."

_I just need to give Katie a reason to look at me in that way._

"Whatever," she muttered and slammed the door shut behind her as she left. Clingy ex turned into angry ex. Brilliant.

Kendall turned to me. "Okay, I was hoping that was your girl, but apparently it isn't. Why can't you just tell me who it is?" he asked eagerly.

"Yeah, how come we've never heard of her before?" Carlos asked, making Kendall starch out a hand towards Carlos, wordlessly saying, "you see?"

I sighed. "I'm not gonna talk with you about this," I said grabbing my car keys and headed for the front door.

"Where you going?" Carlos asked curiously from behind me.

"The mall."

"Shopping isn't gonna solve this!" Kendall shouted. I turned on the spot, but remained where I was, and grinned at the two guys standing in the room.

"Depends on what kind of shopping it is," I said and winked at them. Judging by the goofy looks on their faces, they completely misunderstood what I meant with that, but I didn't care to correct their assumption. I just let them think what they thought. What I really meant was that I was going to the mall to get Katie all of her favorite things. I was going to buy her every single CD she said she wanted, her favorite ice cream, her favorite lip-gloss and some jewelry and clothes she had been looking at on some of our trips to the mall.

We had even gone to a couple of high-end designer stores and checked out some of her favorite designers' stores, like Christian Louboutin, Zuhair Murad, Marchesa, Stella McCartney, Elie Saab and Alexander McQueen.

She had been drooling all over a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes; champagne colored stilettos covered in Rhinestones along with a couple of dresses from Marchesa, Zuhair Murad and Elie Saab, and some more every-day pieces from Stella McCartney and Alexander McQueen. I bought her the Christian Louboutin shoes, earning me a weird look from the sales woman.

"They're not for me," I told her, "They're for this girl I really like. She has been drooling all over them for a while and doesn't really have the money to buy them, so I just thought I should get her a pair."

The sales woman placed a hand over her heart and awed. "I'm sure she will be ecstatic," she said and I smiled.

That was what I was hoping, at the very least.

I then headed over to get her a dress. I stopped by all of the stores, but I couldn't really decide which ones I should get her so I bought one from each designer. Feeling like I had now spent way too much money on clothes, I only got her a scarf from Alexander McQueen, then headed back to the mall. I found the lip-gloss she loved so much, and bought two of it, just so that she wouldn't run out in the nearest future and finished up by getting two boxes of her favorite ice cream. I had originally planned to buy her some jewelry as well, but considering the amount of money I had already spent, I decided against it. I loved her, I really did, but even I had a money-spending limit. Besides, there where some other things I needed to fix that wouldn't be exactly cheap either.

I headed back to the apartment to put the ice cream in the freezer before it melted and managed to sneak everything I bought for Katie into my room and place it under my bed without anybody noticing. I had just placed everything in my room when I almost ran into Katie.

"Hey," she said cheerfully and smiled, "so the guys told me you headed to the mall, any chance you might head back with me? I desperately need that lip-gloss."

I grinned at her and got the little bag with the two glosses out of my back pocket.

"No need, I picked up a few ones for you. I thought I might as well do that while I was there."

Katie looked curiously in to the bag and gaped. "You got the right one. How'd you know?"

"I pay more attention to small things like this than you know," I said and smiled. One of the widest grins I had ever seen on Katie crossed her lips, which made me feel indescribably good. To see a cheerful girl smile like that and know it was of my doing… Ah, I seriously don't think there's anything better in the whole wide world. That was of course until she gave me a tight hug and kissed my cheek and said, "thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

I laughed and looked in her eyes.

"So you wanna tell me who's your crush?" she asked, still holding on to my arms in a halfway hug. I groaned and let go of her.

"I'm not having this conversation with you again," I told her walking back towards my room. "I'm just not telling _any _of ya."

I could hear Katie groan and knew that she would be pouting. Why did she even care that much? She had said it was because the girl deserved to know, but somehow I just didn't believe that was the real reason. Remembering my plan, I twirled around and headed for the door.

"There's ice cream in the freezer, if you want some," I told Katie over my shoulder and left the apartment.

* * *

><p><strong>Ooooh, what's James' brilliant plan? I don't know if you'll think it is as brilliant and sweet as I feel like it is, just so ya know, but I'm doing my best to prefect it :)<strong>

**Oh, and if anyone's interested, I have a twitter account as well (SmosherSinger) and an account on with the same user name as this where I've posted the first chapter of a story I'm quite pleased with, so check that out if you want to :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I want to start of by saying THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of your kind reviews! :D It really does mean a lot for me and you guys push me to write the chapters a little more frequently. **

**My school is one of those who give out laptops (we do have to pay for it, it's not completely free, but almost) and so we are allowed to use them during several classes, sooo I've been working on this while I was supposed to do something else :P Ooops. That's probably why it's so long. Hope you don't mind that :)**

**Anyways, I still don't own BTR or YMAS, or anything else you might recognize.**

**And FYI, You Me At Six (YMAS) is my other favorite band besides BTR, that's why I mention it a lot ;)**

**Oh, and if you want to get in touch with me or get some inside info on the stories, you can follow me on twitter SmosherSinger :)**

**Enjoy :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Katie's POV<strong>

I glared at the door James had just left through. He did not just buy me ice cream too? He wouldn't actually be that nice just randomly? He usually wanted something in return when he was like that. I guess I had started to rub off on him in that department, so needless to say there was an alert on in the back of my mind as I headed to the freezer. My mouth fell open as I saw what was in it. It was only two boxes of ice cream, but they where both my favorite flavor and had something written all over it. I took out one of the ice cream tubs, and looked closer at the message on it. It said; "property of Katie Knight. Do NOT touch. Seriously."

I couldn't help but to laugh to myself at James' sweetness. It was really unnecessary, but highly appreciated. I had always known James was a good guy, somewhere deep down inside somewhere, but I really didn't think that he was anything like this. I had never thought that out of the four guys that made up Big Time Rush, James was the one who paid attention to all the little details.

I didn't want to finish up all of the ice cream at once, which was very possible that I would if I started on it now that I had the entire apartment to myself, so instead of opening it, I put it back in the freezer and went to my room and changed into my bikini and headed down to the pool.

Once there I spotted Jo, Lucy and Camille at one of the tables. Cami, who sat faced towards me looked up and waved at me, making the two others turn their heads towards me as well and flashed me bright smiles and waved at me too.

"Hey, Katie," they all greeted me cheerfully.

"Hey," I said cheerfully, and sat down in the empty seat.

"So, I heard James finished that song he betted with Gustavo on," Camille said overly excited and leaned forward as if she was sharing some juicy gossip, "have you heard it? Is it as good as Logan said?"

"Uhh," I said, making them look intrigued, "I don't know exactly what Logan told you but yeah, it was really good. It's called All In My Head and Gustavo _loved _it."

Their jaws almost dropped to the floor.

"Wh-what?" Jo stuttered stunned. "He loved it?" Lucy asked completely shocked. She hadn't known Gustavo as long as the two others, but she had known him long enough to know that Gustavo was really picky when it came to songwriting, which meant this song really was good.

"Yup, and seriously it's not that weird, it's so sweet. Sort of. I mean, it shows a whole different side of James. I didn't even know he had it in him. It's about this girl who apparently doesn't want him, and as he sang the song it was like all of his confidence with women was gone… I have never ever in my entire life seen him like that before. He seemed so unconfident and emotional. I think one of the lines in the song was; she said, she said, said she wants to marry me, it's all in my head, that's just not reality…"

"Whoa, you're saying _James_, as in James Diamond was like that?" Jo asked. Her entire attitude read shocked loud and clearly. I didn't blame her, I was stunned myself when I heard the song.

"Uh-huh," I confirmed.

"Whoa, he's got it bad," she said.

Camille and Lucy murmured something in agreement, probably too shocked to fully form a proper word. It wasn't like James was a bad guy – or well, he was a bit of a womanizer and had a bad habit of using girls only to please himself, but other than that, deep underneath it all he was just as much of a good guy as Logan and Carlos.

Camille was the first one to recover from the shock though. "Who's the song about?"

"Well, that's the thing… I tried really hard to get it out of him, but he refuses to talk about her. I don't get it. I mean, he can write a song about her, but not talk about her to the guys or me? It doesn't make sense. And trust me, I tried _hard._ I used my puppy dog eyes, continuous asking and everything, but nothing." I finished the last part slightly frustrated.

I _really _wanted to figure out who the girl who got James Diamond to fall head over heels for her, and bow in the dust before her. No person alive has ever brought out that side of James before, and she deserved to know what kind of power she held.

"Well, maybe it's one of the guys and that's why he refuses to talk?" Lucy suggested, pulling me out of my thoughts, looking like she didn't really believe that herself. I just shook my head.

"Nope. Tried that one too, and apparently Kendall did too, all he did was get offended that we thought he was gay and denied it, pointing out that the song clearly says _she_."

"Huh," Lucy said thoughtfully. "Ah, well, I for one came here for the actual pool, so I'm gonna jump in," she said and basically just ran into the pool, splashing water everywhere, the three of us that where left behind only laughed, and shortly jumped in after her. We ended up just goofing off, splashing water at each other – probably some of the guests too – with just our hands, resulting in a full out water fight.

Not long after we were laughing so hard we could barley breathe. The air was hot and the sun shone brightly, looking around me I realized we where now the only ones in the pool area. Weird, I thought. We kept on laughing and lightly splashing at each other until an angry Mr. Bitters came out to the pool.

"Get. Out… Now," he hissed.

"Aw, don't be such a killjoy, Bitters," I said innocently.

"You four girls are splashing water on everything and _everyone_ around here," he said.

Oh, _that_ was why there where nobody around.

"Don't force me to give all of you another strike," he threatened, as we still hadn't gotten out of the pool, making us practically fly out of it. As if that wasn't enough he escorted me back to my apartment as well.

Ever since Bitters lost a thousand dollar bet to me and had to give 50% of the Palmwoods stocks to me (my mom forced me to sell them back to him though) he really couldn't stand me anymore. Meaning he looked for every little opportunity he could get to humiliate me. This, unfortunately, was one of them. He practically dragged me up towards 2J and pounded harshly on the door. Just my luck, Kendall was the one who answered the door.

"Katie?" he asked surprised, but quickly frowned and changed his voice from soft and surprised to pissed off and annoyed. "What have you done now?"

"She and her three friends just splashed down the entire pool area and chased away all my guests," Bitters spat.

"Hey, we didn't purposely chase them away. They could have stayed," I said. Kendall looked amused, or as amused as he could be in front of Bitters.

"Don't force me to give you another strike, Miss Knight," he said, the threat in his voice all too clear. Kendall shot me a haughty look, before he scooped me closer towards him, pulling me out of Mr. Bitters' grip.

"She won't bother you anymore today, I promise," Kendall said to Bitters as I headed inside the apartment. "Make that the entire week," I heard Bitters demand.

"Okay, I will," Kendall said before shutting the door. "You are not leaving this apartment anymore today," Kendall said strictly, "you're grounded."

"Dude, I'm 18, you can't really ground me, I'm a legal adult now," I told my brother, while I spoke I got up from the couch and went over to the freezer, fishing out one of the tubs of ice cream James had so kindly gotten me.

"Katie, it doesn't matter. As long as you still live here, I'm still in charge of you, and don't you dare take that ice cream."

"Well, it is mine, so I can enjoy it when ever I want," I told him smirking.

"I don't see your name on it," he retorted.

"Oh yeah?" I handed him the tub as he read the message.

"Why does it have James' handwriting all over it? And what's with the flavor? We almost never have that."

"James was at the mall and apparently decided he should get me a couple tubs of ice cream for me. Good thinking, by the way. And as for why he chose that flavor, I'm actually surprised you didn't know."

"Why should I know?" Kendall asked looking as confused as ever.

"Seriously? It's my favorite. How come James knew that and you didn't?"

Enlightenment flashed in my brother's eyes, leaving me more confused than ever.

"What? What did you just figure out?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing," he replied, not at all convincing me. I didn't get a chance to ask again though, before he disappeared in the direction of the front door, muttering something about having to go somewhere. I decided to be a good girl for once and accept my punishment after soaking the pool area and was about to sit down at the couch again when I remembered I was still wearing my wet bikini and decided to go get some dry clothes and wash the chlorine-filled water before sitting down.

I watched an entire episode of the Pretty Little Liars marathon which was now running before Logan returned.

"Whaddup, Kit-kat?" he asked cheerfully.

"Not much, just watching a PLL marathon."

"Did something happen?" He asked switching to concerned as he eyed the tub of ice cream I had in my lap.

"Oh, no not really, James just decided to randomly by me some ice cream while he was at the mall and then Kendall grounded me, so I just figured I could start on the ice cream," I explained and flashed him a bright smile.

"Oh, okay. Whoa-whoa, wait., Kendall grounded you? What'd ya do?"

"Oh, uhm," I stuttered and blushed lightly, "well, Camille, Lucy, Jo and I started a water fight in the pool and got a little carried away and soaked the entire pool area, and Bitters freaked."

Logan laughed. He had a really contagious laugh, so I couldn't help but to join in.

"I was scared that it was something much worse," he said, obviously relieved it wasn't anything more serious than that, and added, "well, next time, be sure to invite me too, it sounds like a lot of fun."

"Oh it was," I informed him grinning wildly and took another bite of my ice cream.

"Hey, do you know where the guys are?" he asked from the kitchen.

"James said he needed to fix something, no idea what, then Kendall just randomly left after I told him James had gotten me ice cream and I have no idea where Carlos is."

"Okay," Logan muttered with a bagel in his mouth while he got out the milk carton and poured himself a glass. He then came over to sit with me on the couch just as another episode started.

Logan would never admit to it, but he loved Pretty Little Liars as much as I did. We had made a tradition out of recording every episode and then watch it together every Monday after all the other guys had gone to sleep. I loved watching it with him, just him and me. Although I didn't like Logan in a romantic way, it was still lice to just sit there cuddled up against his chest in the evening, simply watching our favorite show together.

"Want some?" I asked offering him the box of ice cream I had started on.

"Yeah, thanks. Wow, he got you your favorite?" Logan noted, I nodded in confirmation, "that's nice of him."

"I know, right? I really didn't know he paid that much attention," I said. Logan simply nodded a little and let our conversation die out as we focused all of our attention on to the TV screen.

* * *

><p><strong>James' POV<strong>

"Hey, Josh, it's James," I said into my phone as he picked up.

"You know I told you about this girl I like?" I was talking about Katie naturally.

I had been in London with Josh a few months ago. He was an old family friend of mine and we used to spend some time together whenever that worked out with our touring schedules. Of course, him having known me for this long he figured there was something up when I would wake up and play my guitar and listen to sappy love-songs. At that time I was missing Katie so badly, having been in London for almost three weeks and gone there straight from a tour, so I did the only reasonable thing; I told him about Katie. Not mentioning any names, or going into details, but deep enough for him to get the idea and figure out how much I really love her.

"Yeah?" Josh asked, "you finally got her?"

"No, I wish though. Anyways, I heard you guys where playing a concert in LA in a week, and I was wondering if maybe you would have time to stop by the studio and help me write a song and sing it. Aaaand possibly get me two back stage passes, or at least one so that I can give it to her? It would mean the world to her, and me, she's a _huge _YMAS fan."

"Yeah, man, of course. I'll at least get her in, I'm pretty sure I'll get you in as well, and we would all love to help you out with winning her over. And I must admit, she has great taste in music," he added the last part with a light laugh.

That's Josh Franceschi for you, always ready to praise his own music into the skies. I guess in some ways he was a lot like me, this being one of them.

"Okay, Josh. Whatever you say," I said, laughing too.

"Oh man, no come back? You really got it bad."

"So they keep saying," I laughed. It was true, though.

"Guess I'll see you then. Bye," I said and hung up after he said bye as well.

"So he's in?" Kelly asked expectantly.

"Yup, he's in."

Kelly cheered loudly, throwing her hands up in the air victoriously.

"This album is gonna be great, James. Who ever it is you're making it for is one lucky girl. You must really love her," Kelly said sweetly.

"Aww, thanks Kelly, it really means a lot."

I had finished another song, which was the reason I was in the studio in the first place. Yeah, my plan – part of it, that is – was to write and record an album for Katie to show her how I feel. And what better way to do that than to get one of her all time favorite bands on it as well? Neither Katie nor any of the guys knew of my friendship with Josh and the guys of You Me At Six. I don't really know why I never told them about it, I guess it just never came up.

Kelly had deemed my song finished and polished to perfection, so I was done for the day. She was single handedly producing the album for me, cutting and perfecting every detail. I had come to her with my idea of making an album for Katie, once again not mentioning any names. That would just be plain awkward. She had agreed of course, thinking it was a super sweet gesture on my part, but thought it best to keep Gustavo out of it.

Figuring there was no point in sticking around the studio, I started heading towards the Palm Woods. I was almost there when Kendall called me. I picked it up, once again feeling really grateful that I had added the Bluetooth hands free system to my car.

"Kendall, what's up?"

"Where are you? I've been looking all over for you man," he asked exasperated.

"Dude, chill, I was just at the studio."

Kendall was quiet for a few seconds; I could practically hear his mind working on high gear. "You're not going solo, are ya?"

"NO! No, of course not. I would never do that unless BTR was already broken up," I told him.

"Not really helping," he said, "well, if you're not leaving BTR, why have you been there so much the past few days."

"I'm recording a personal album for the girl."

"You mean Katie?"

My eyes widened in shock. OH MY GOD! Kendall knew! I would be dead for sure.

"Whaaaaa?"

"Oh come on, James, with the way you've been noticing so many small details about her that even I forget, and you're just randomly buying her favorite stuff… Well, it's kinda obvious, don't you think? To me it is at least."

"Uh, uh – I, eh…" I couldn't even form a proper sentence, which of course made Kendall laugh.

"Dude, don't worry. I don't mind it," he said.

_WHAT?_

"Y-you don't?" I asked stunned.

"Nah, why would I? Neither of us have ever seen you this insanely in love, and you said it for yourself, she's different from all the others. I know that you're really a nice guy, and I want the both of you to be happy, so yeah, you have my approval."

"Oh my god, thank you so much, Kendall!"

He couldn't help but to laugh at my silliness again, and this time I had to join him.

"You're welcome, James. You can come out from your hiding spot now," Kendall teased.

"Ha-ha, very funny, Kendall. But seriously, I was just at the studio recording a new song."

"Okay, if you say so," Kendall said. The way he said it made it all too obvious that he didn't fully believe me.

"Whatever. I'm pulling into the parking lot now, I'm just gonna park the car and I'll be up in 5 or something," I told him and hung up after saying bye.

As I unlocked the apartment door and went inside I was faced with a cheerful Kendall and Carlos sitting on the bright orange couch. "Can we talk? Katie's out," Kendall said at once and turned the TV off with the remote that sat in its usual spot on the table in front of the couch.

"What? I thought you grounded her?" Carlos asked confused.

"You did? Why?" I asked curiously and sat down on the couch with the two other guys.

"Yeah, I did, but I figured we could use some space and time to talk about… you know..."

Carlos looked back and fourth between Kendall and me, looking as if we spoke another language he didn't understand at all.

"Sure, but where's Logan?"

"Hanging by the pool, I think. I'll text him right now," Kendall said and got his phone out from his back pocket. Within just a few minutes Logan joined us in the apartment.

"What's the big news?" he asked curiously.

"I decided I'm going to tell you who the girl is, cause I need some help."

"What?" Carlos shouted excitedly.

"Ooooh! Who is it? Anybody we know?" Logan added.

"Yeah… You know her pretty well actually…"

_James, just get it out there!_ I told myself firmly. _Like riping off a band-aid. Just do it quick and get it over with_.

I took a deep breath and finished up, "it's Katie."

Carlos and Logan's jaws dropped.

"Katie as in Kit-Kat?" Carlos asked.

"Katie as in that guy's sister?" Logan asked pointing at Kendall. "Speaking of, why aren't you half way through murdering him by now?" Logan added.

"Yup, that's the one," I said cheerfully.

"And I figured by myself when I realized not even I knew a lot of the details about her that he seems to know," Kendall said.

"Stalker much?" Carlos asked goofily.

"Oh, shut up," I told him and playfully punched his arm.

"Okay, so you said you need our help?" Logan said, getting us back on track. "What's your battle strategy?"

"It's not really the greatest thing, but I kinda want her to know that I'm not as shallow as I might seem and that I really do pay attention to the small things she says and does, so I've gotten her a couple of the CD's she's been wanting for a while, and some clothes and stuff from her favorite designers and some things like that. So basically, I need you guys to help me get her out of the apartment so I can place the gifts in her room so she gets them as a surprise. Or well, I can get her out of the apartment, and then you can place the gifts there, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Absolutely."

"Sure thing, bro."

"Thanks guys."

* * *

><p>About a week later, Katie had gotten two new CD's which I had gotten signed especially for her by the singer, she had gotten the dress from Zuhair Murad and the one from Elie Saab and to say the least she was thrilled to be able to say she had the two dresses.<p>

Right now I was in the studio with the entire You Me At Six, trying to write a song, but failing miserably.

"Dude, we have been in here for three hours and still have nothing," I complained. "All I wanna do is write a song that's different from the ones I've sung before. I don't wanna sing the same old thing, cause it just doesn't mean anything to me, and it won't mean anything to her either," I said.

Josh lit up. "James, that's great! Guys just tag along, okay?" he asked his band and started playing his acoustic guitar.

_All I want to do is write a song_

_One I haven't ever sung before_

_I don't want to sing the same old thing_

_It wouldn't mean anything to me_

Josh took the words I had just spoken and twisted the slightly so it made a song. He sang as softly as ever, making it a more low-key love song than a lot of their other material. I caught on to the melody quite quickly, as did the rest of the band, and soon it had drums and electric guitars jumping on as well.

_All I want to do is write a song_

_But everything I say just comes out wrong_

_I guess I'll just throw my thoughts away_

_Maybe pick them up another day_

I don't know where the words came from as I made the second verse. I had a slight smile on my face as I realized I was truly becoming a song-writer.

_I just lost control_

_I just wanted you to know_

_When I'm on my own_

_I feel invisible_

_I just lost control_

_I just needed you to know_

_When in front of you_

_I feel invincible_

This would definitely be the chorus, and was a result of Josh and me co-operating.

_I want to write a song that makes you smile_

_One that keeps you around for a while_

_I wish for, small things_

_Like losing, this feeling_

_I've seen this coming_

_I've seen you, leaving_

Again Josh's voice was so soft, yet somehow so well defined. I could really see why Katie loved YMAS as much as she did. I knew the song was written from my perspective as well. "Take the chorus again," he told the band while still playing his guitar.

_I just lost control_

_I just wanted you to know_

_When I'm on my own_

_I feel invisible_

_I just lost control_

_I just needed you to know_

_When in front of you_

_I feel invincible_

_I know I've said and done some things_

_That've made you feel a little empty_

_I've got a whole lot to learn_

_Every bridge I see, I seem to burn so_

I had a feeling Josh was about to add something more, but the perfect lines formed in my head. I interrupted him before he ever got that far, I just had to sing the lines and let my heart talk for me. Again.

_All I've got to do is sing a song_

_Tell a little truth to everyone_

_Sick of saying sorry when I'm not_

_But after a little love that's_

_That's all I've _

_That's all I've got_

_I just lost control_

_I just wanted you to know_

_When I'm on my own_

_I feel invisible_

_I just lost control_

_I just needed you to know_

_When in front of you_

_I feel invincible _

_Invincible_

I couldn't believe it. The song was done! And it was perfect. Simple, but still perfect.

"Guys, that was awesome!" I cheered while the band hurriedly got some new note sheets out and scrabbled the basic keys down. The beauty of their music was the ability to add or remove riffs and solos, even instruments, and it would still sound good.

"Thank you so much! She'll love it!"

"Anything for a friend needing help to get his girl," Josh beamed.

"She'd be crazy to turn down James Diamond!"

I laughed. "Thanks guys."

"Now go get your girl," they said encouragingly.

"Oh, and don't forget this," Josh said and gave me a signed copy of Hold Me Down and Take Off Your Colors.

"Thank you! She'll love it!" I exclaimed, repeating myself, and gave all of them a hug.

* * *

><p>As I got home Katie was sitting on the couch watching TV.<p>

"Hey Kit-kat," I said cheerfully and tossed my car keys on the kitchen counter and walked to the fridge to grab something to eat. "Where are the guys?"

"I don't know, out somewhere, I told them to go somewhere that wasn't the apartment," she said.

"Why?" I asked confused, but curious.

"We need to talk."

"Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good."

She flashed me an un-amused smile and patted the seat next to her on the couch. I took the hint and sat down.

"Whaddup?" I asked and Katie let out a sigh.

"Look, it's not that I don't appreciate it or anything, but what's with all the gifts?"

"Oh, you know… Just wanted to be nice," I told her and blushed faintly.

"There's something more than that too, right?"

"Yeah… I just wanted to show you that I really do listen to everything you say and I do remember the small details about you. Just excuse me for a second," I said and disappeared into my bedroom and got out the last dress I had gotten her with the three last albums on top, Hold Me Down, Take Off Your Colors and my at last completed album only for her. I sat everything but the CD's down on the floor.

"I got you a few other things too," I said and handed her the CD's.

"You-you got me all of You Me At Six's CD's, _and_ got them signed?"

"Yup, I figured you might want them," I said and laughed.

"OH MY GOSH! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" she exclaimed bouncing up and down on the couch, only making me laugh even more. Suddenly she noticed the name of the last Cd and furrowed her brows. "What's this?"

"Oh, just a little thing I made with some help."

"You made me a CD? You know you're really starting to give me some wrong signals here," she said.

"Yes, I did make you a CD, but who says I gave the wrong signals?" I asked, "I know I should have done this a lot earlier, but Katie, will you go out with me?"

Her jaw almost dropped to the floor, making everything around me freeze and almost give me a heart attack. I had never fully thought about what I would do if she said no. Her face quickly turned into a bright grin though, making me smile just as brightly. My heart pounded quickly and butterflies went crazy in my stomach.

"Of course I would! Are you really saying I'm the girl you're in love with, Jamie?"

"Yes I am. How could I not? You're so smart, talented, strong and independent, you love music as much as any of us do, not to mention that you're absolutely gorgeous. Seriously, I could probably go on forever with all the things I love about you," I told her, making her awe.

"So, what's your plan for the date?" she asked.

"A romantic dinner at a classy restaurant. I know it might sound dull, but the food there is _amazing_, as is the live music," I told her.

"Aww, it sounds really nice," she said sweetly, obviously really meaning it. Suddenly hear face dropped, almost making my heart stop. I was hating how much she was effecting me now. If anyone in the world had the power to destroy me, it would be Katie. I loved her, but she scared me at the same time. Or well, the power she held over me and how vulnerable I was around her was what scared me. I wasn't used to being in this kind of position.

"What am I supposed to wear?" she asked. I let out a sigh of relief. That was the only problem. Phew.

I smiled brightly at her and grabbed the two last boxes and handed it to her.

"You know you don't have to buy my love, right James?"

"Of course. And that's not what I'm trying to do. I just want to make you happy and give you the things you want. But really these are only additional gifts. I put the most effort into planning the date, making the album, getting them signed and all of that, because I know that's what'll really make you happy," I told her, once again making her awe.

"You're really sweet, did you know that?" she asked and kissed my cheek before turning her attention to the two boxes in her lap. She opened the first and smallest one, revealing the Christian Louboutin shoes I got her.

"Oh my God," she breathed stunned, good kind of stunned, like she couldn't possibly love them anymore. She then moved on to the other box and pulled out a really pretty nude colored dress with stunning pearl embroideries. I knew it would look even better on her, though.

"James… I-I don't know what to say, I'm completely speechless. Just… Thank you so much!" she said with a tear of joy escaping her eye and gave me a tight hug.

I couldn't help but to draw in her heavenly scent as she hugged me. God, she smelled so good. She had just the right balance between her natural scent and perfume. Her scent alone was enough to send shivers of pleasure down my spine, completely intoxicating.

"Well, I guess I should go get ready for our date then, and listen to this thing," she said holding up the CD I had made.

"Oh, let me take those for you," I said and grabbed the two boxes for her.

"I could carry them myself you know."

"I don't doubt that the least, but I want to."

"Well then, I won't stop you," she said flashing me another one of her bright smiles. I placed the boxes in her room and left her to get ready. Not long after, I could hear the first song of the album, "1, 2, 3,4" start to play.

Song after song played while I got ready. I had given her the lyrics to every song, and I could hear her sing along, a definite sign that she liked it. I was happy that she did, I had worked hard on it lately although a lot of the songs where ones I had written about her earlier. The eight song was Little Bit Of Truth, the song I had done with You Me At Six. Katie, who by now had finished up in the shower, styled her hair and started putting on make up practically ran to my room.

"You did a song with YMAS?" Katie asked amazed. She looked even more beautiful than usual, not that I had any idea how that was even possible. She was dressed in a pretty champagne colored silk kimono.

"Yup, I did. I got them to help me out with writing that song just for you as well."

"Seriously?"

"Mhm. I know they're your favorite band, so I figured that would make it extra special."

Katie opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but she didn't speak. I snaked my arms around her waist and closed the space between us so that our bodies where practically glued together.

"You don't have to say anything for me to know how much you appreciate it," I told her, feeling like the happiest man alive and kissed her cheek.

I wanted so badly to kiss her on the lips right then and there, but I had to stay strong and complete my plan before I could do that.

"Okay," she said smiling her beautiful smile, "I should probably get back to my room and finish up."

I smiled at her adoringly, and said, "probably a good idea. I need to finish up as well."

"Can't wait for the date," she said.

" Me neither."

God, this was going to be hard. But hey, I had gone over a year without kissing her by now, what would another few hours be? I could live through that. Right?

In the background, I could hear the story of the album progressing, going into slightly more confident as the date approached us. I had a feeling this was going to be a great day.

* * *

><p><strong>Ooooh, there's a date comming up!<strong>

**And in case you wanna check out the songs on James' album for Katie they are (in order) :**

**- "1, 2, 3, 4" by Plain White T's **

**- "All In My Head" by Nick Lachey**

**- "Science & Faith" by The Script**

**- "All In" by Lifehouse**

**- "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's**

**- "Someone Like You" by Boys Like Girls**

**- "You Won't Feel A Thing" by The Script**

**- "Little Bit Of Truth" by You Me At Six**

**- "Never Gonna Be Alone" by Nickelback**

**- "A Drop In The Ocean" by Ron Pope**

**- "The Only Hope For Me Is You" by My Chemical Romance**

**- "Outta My Head" by Daughtry**

**- "Trying Not To Love You" by Nickelback**

**- "I'm Home" by Atle Pettersen**

**Of course the songs are supposed to be sung by James and not the actual artists :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm really, really, really sorry this took so long. I did start it a while ago and had it nearly completed by the middle of June, but honestley I kinda forgot the whole thing. And then I don't have my own laptop anymore, so it's not as easy for me to write stuff anymore. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this and don't hate me too much for taking this long :)**

**Oh, and I didn't have spell-check either for the end of this either, so there might be more grammatical errors than usual. Sorry.**

* * *

><p>After a long time, longer than I really care to admit, I came out of my room, ready for the date. My hair was styled to perfection in a slight up-do, leaving a few gently curled strands of hair framing my face. My makeup was kept at a somewhat natural-looking level. My idea of right makeup use was not to hide your skin, but rather to enhance the features one likes best about their faces and add a glow. I was wearing the Marchesa dress James had given me along with the Christian Louboutin shoes. It was crazy how well they went together actually. If that was James' plan when he bought it, he had a better sense of fashion than I had thought. James was waiting for me at the foot of the stairs. Apparently no one else was home. I wondered for a second why my brother wasn't there to tear James apart for making a move on me, but quickly dismissed the thought. If he wasn't here, I didn't really mind.<p>

Just as I was about to head for the door, James stopped me, pulling out a jewelry box.

"What exactly is your plan for this date?" I asked suspiciously as he held out the jewelry box to me. "That, my dear, is something you will see soon," James replied with a ridiculously beautiful smile. I never thought I liked James all that much, I mean, I knew I had a crush on him and all, but it didn't think it was anywhere near this much.

Right then James decided it was a good time to open the jewelry box, revealing a stunning set of diamond earrings and a necklace matching the dress I was wearing. He helped me put on the necklace and then lead the way to a beautiful black Jaguar of the really expensive kind (of course it was, this was James we were talking about and his newfound love for spoiling me), and opened the door for me like a perfect gentleman. The ride to wherever it was we were going, was mostly silent, but it was a comfortable silence. We had known each other for as long as I had lived, yet going on a date with James – tall, muscular and gorgeous James – I was suddenly more nervous than I had ever been before a date, yet at the same time a lot more excited.

The car eventually came to a halt at the top of a hill where a gorgeous little restaurant lay. The restaurant looked like it had been closed for the day, apart from a light glow of candlelight shining through the slowly darkening evening. A lone perfectly and exclusively decorated table sat outside with a view of the entire City of Angels and the ocean. The sun had begun its decent, painting the landscape a warm shade of reddish orange, fit for a Monet painting. As we parked, two waiters came running up to the car, opening the door for me, another one opening the door for James before guiding us to our table. There was a path divided by candles, much like an airport runway at night, just much more romantic of course. It was in the moment we were seated at our table that a sneaking suspicion finally hit me, that James had in fact rented out the entire restaurant – not just a single table, or a room if feeling like providing some more privacy or whatever, like any other guy would. "And finally I understand why you're known as such a ladies-man," I muttered, more to myself than to James, who was smiling brightly. "I'm gonna take that as you like this place."

"Definitely," I said, smiling brightly. _Even if it's probably what you do for every girl you go out with_, I thought. As if he had read my thoughts, James said, "I'm glad you like it. It's not too much is it? Cause I'm not really used to doing anything this big. I would usually just take a girl out to a movie and dinner at Fun Burger or something similar. But I just felt like that wouldn't be anywhere near good enough for you." James looked down at our still joined hands, and then gazed at me. "That's part of why Kendall isn't ripping my head off or otherwise plotting how best to murder me with a plastic spork, you know? Because for the first time in my life I'm completely out of my element when trying my best to impress a woman - I have never before felt like nothing I do would ever be good enough… What I'm trying to say here, Katie, is that you mean more to me than what's probably healthy, you make me want to be the best version of me that I can possibly be."

"I probably shouldn't find that as sweet as I do," I said teasingly, "but I still do, and I love seeing more and more of your deeper side. You know, the not so superficial one?"

"I thought you said I didn't need to by your love, and that I was going a little over the top?" James asked catching on to my teasing tone. "Yes, _but_ you also have shown that's all with a more sentimental value than the actual price tag, although that too has been really big on certain things," I said, gesturing towards my outfit, "and you could hardly make me feel any more special than I do."

"Good," James said pleased, "that means it's working. Oh, and I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of pre-ordering our food," James said, just as our appetizers arrived. I smiled brightly and told him that no, it was not a problem at all, and took a bite of delicious-looking food. And let me just say, the looks didn't do the amazing flavor any justice. If you could have an actual foodgasm, this would be the place to provide it. I had never before in my life tasted something as well put together and… just plain delicious as this. "James, this is beyond amazing," I told him, looking at him with all the love of him I felt flooding my body.

"Wait," he said putting down his fork, shifting his position in his seat as to better reach his back pockets, "you haven't seen the best part yet."

"Is this another one of your gifts? Cause I really don't need anything more than what you've already given me."

"Well if you don't want these..." James said with a smile plastered on his face, waving a pair of concert tickets in the air. "Concert tickets. Now that I don't mind."

On cue, James gave them to me, his smile growing impossibly bigger. I glanced at them, my eyes automatically jumping to the bold print reading '_You Me At Six_.'

My mind was refusing to comprehend the meaning of those four words. Then, my mouth fell open and I looked up at James again, knowing my eyes must be flooded with the intense love and gratitude I had for the man. "Y-you got us tickets for You Me At Six?"

James nodded eagerly. "I know hoe much you love them, and I know how much I love you. Seeing you happy, knowing I caused it makes my world complete."

I had no words to even remotely cover how happy I was in that very moment, so I flung myself at him, pulling him for a tight hug. Our hug ended in a light embrace, both of us gazing deeply into the other's eyes. Feelings of love and appreciation flew silently between us for a few moments before I pulled him in for a kiss. My body was on fire, sparks were exsploding and I felt like a cheesy chick-flick, but I loved it and wouldn't change it for the world.

* * *

><p>"Katie, we gotta go. The concert starts in two hours," James shouted from downstairs just as I pulled on my cardigan. "In a minute," I shouted back and looked myself over in the mirror. My outfit was simple; dark skinny jeans, dark grey wedge ancle boots, a ruffled deep red tank top and a dark grey cardigan, but I thought I looked great anyway.<p>

"Hey, baby sis," Kendall said peeking inside my room. "Wow, you look amazing," he said fully stepping inside my room. He wore an expression of what looked like pride. "Look, I just wanted to say that I'm happy for you. I think you and James make a really cute couple and... Well, I'm just happy for the two of you," Kendall said.

"Aww, thanks, big bro," I said cheerfully, wrapping my arms around him in a tight hug.

"Love you, Katie."

"Love you too, Kendall."

"Have fun at the concert, baby sis."

"Oh, I will," I said excitedly as I moved towards my door.

"Don't do anything I would do!" Kendall called after me as I bagan my decent down the hall. "Hypocrite," I muttered bemusedly to myeslf, smiling at my brother's some-what subtle way of telling me not to do anything too dirty. "Oh. My God," sounded Jaames' soft, velvety voice, effectivley pulling me from my thoughts. "You look absoloutley stunning, Katie," James told me, giving me a gentle, loving kiss. "So do you." James was clad in a pair of black jeans, a deep red stone wash v-neck, one of his favorite leather jackets and a pair of army boots.

"Are you ready, then?" James asked smiling brightly at me, love shining just as brightly within his gorgeous hazel eyes.

"Oh yeah. I can't wait to actually see them live. Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this?" I asked.

"I think I do, that's part of why I wanted to give you these tickets."

"You're the best," I told him lovingly, pulling him into a deep kiss.

* * *

><p>"This next song was written for and with one of my childhood friends. He was for the first time ever having some trouble getting past his player image, and well, long story short he wanted to do something special for her. And apparently the girl has great taste in music and we just happen to be her favorite band," Josh said jokingly, earning chuckles from the crowd, "so, Katie, this one's for you." Just as Josh said that, the band started playing and James' grip on my waist grew a little tighter.<p>

The song, apparently called Little Bit of Truth, was preformed with such emotion and pure perfection that tears were starting to form in my eyes. The fact that my favorite band had co-written a song – something they never did, and with my boyfriend at that – expressing how much I really meant to James was just too much for the hopeless romantic and fangirl in me. Everything James had done in the past few days to show how truly special I was to him was beyond amazing.

"I love you, James. So much more than I will ever be able to express. This entire thing is just so perfect," I told him lovingly. "You're perfect."

A light blush crept onto his cheeks. "Ugh, do you see what you're doing to me? You're making me blush in a public place," James said sounding just a tad self-concious, and really, really happy. "It's nice to know I hold that kind of power over you," I teased and stuck out my tounge at him, "but seriously, you should have told me a lot sooner you were childhood friends with fucking _Josh Franchesci_."

"I guess now would be a good time to tell you I'm also best friends with Bieber then?"

"Seriously?" I asked, an eyebrow arching up questioningly. "Nah. I don't really know him, just teasin' ya, Super Kat," James said, flashing me one of his bright, breath-taking smiles. "Honestly, I don't even really like him."

"Good," I said and kissed him quickly, "I don't really like him either."

James tightened his grip on me as we returned our attention back to the concert. I still couldn't fully believe that anybody would do all this for me, but I was happy. So, so happy. "I love you, James."

"Love you too, Katie," James said and kissed the top of my head. And in that very moment I thought I could die happy. As long as I had James, everything would be just right.

* * *

><p><strong>So that's it. That's the end of this story :**

**Oh, and that Super Kat nickname is pretty much stolen from UnpublishedWRTIER's story I Won't Back Down. I love that story (well, all her stories really) and I just really like that nickname. **


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